Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Case of the Winter Blues

I don't know whether it's this cold weather, depression or hell, I've even considered mono, that's making me feel this way. Regardless of the reason I am so tired and despondent these days. I think people have started noticing that I'm "off" at work. I've tried to play it off as due to the stomach bug from earlier this week, or just allergies getting me down. The truth is, I'm highly sensitive, easily emotional and exhausted all of the time.

I've been going to bed two hours earlier than normal and still I wake up feeling barely rested. I have an internal struggle to get out of bed and go to work. Once there I feel mostly good but if something goes wrong, as it usually does, it bugs me even more than normal. I'm a secretary so I put up with a lot of crap during the day, however, for some reason I'm so much more an easy target lately. It's pathetic.

The thing is, how do I fix it if I don't know what's causing it? I've considered seeing my therapist. I haven't seen him in over 3 months, at least. Even then I saw him maybe once a month or so for a very small amount of time. And it's not that I don't want to see him again, he's a great guy, I just don't think that my exhaustion warrants a visit. Taking a day of work to see a doctor because you're tired seems pathetic too. Especially if this is just caused by "winter blues." So I'm going to hold off for a little bit again. I figure if Christmas, my favorite holiday ever, can't cheer me up then we have a problem. However, a little cider and mistletoe may be just the trick.

My only worry is that what if it isn't? I begin school in less than a month. Full time school and full time work. I will have no space for extra exhaustion and sadness. Best I can do is just force myself out of bed every day and cheer the heck up.

Is anybody else feeling this way lately? Please tell me it's only the weather...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Book Talk Tuesday: The Last Lecture

In 2007, Carnegie Mellon University Professor Randy Pausch began giving his final speech "Really Living Your Childhood Dreams." If his lecture was a tale meant to inspire, teach and give courage to his students, then his book "The Last Lecture" is a humerus heart-wrenching love letter to his relatives, wife and children. In his book, co-written by Jeffrey Zaslow, Randy Pausch takes time from living life while dying of terminal cancer to share insight on how he got to where he is, all of the dreams for where his children might one day go and heart-warming advice and antidotes to help them achieve their dreams long after he's gone.

It should come as no surprise to you that I cried. Of course I cried. Written in his own voice it was not hard to see why Randy Pausch was so loved in life. Knowing though, that in 2008 Mr. Pausch was too pass away, well that was just too much to take at times. Especially when I thought of all those loved ones he would be leaving behind.

What should come as a surprise to you is how often I laughed. Pausch is incredibly clever. I couldn't help but sincerely listen to his advice as he gave it a very frank non-sentimental manner. He wasn't trying to make me cry, gosh darn it he was trying to make his readers laugh, reflect and most of all live.

If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend you check out Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow's "The Last Lecture."No matter what your age, religious beliefs and personal aspirations are, this will surely give you something to think about.

See the below video for the original lecture that inspired the book:

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Giving It All Free for All

Dee from One Foot out of the Box was kind enough to ask me a very timely question for this week's Free for All Friday: What are my goals for the upcoming year?

I'm so glad Dee phrased it as goals and not resolutions. Because seriously, in the 25 years of my life I have not once made a resolution. However, I am chock full of goals. Here are my big ones for this year:
  1. Head back to college so that I may obtain my teaching certification. While I have my bachelor's in English: Professional Writing, I haven't done too much writing since graduating in 2007. In fact, the closest I've gotten is blogging, a little television reviewing and a year's worth of editing. The rest of the time I've been working as a secretary. Which is not to say I haven't loved being a secretary. I seriously do. I'm a talker and getting to know a ton of new people has been fabulous. However, what I really want to do with my life is act as a Reading Specialist. Becoming a secondary English Teacher takes me one step closer to achieving my Reading Specialist goal.
  2. My second goal is to grow up a little. I'm married now. I've been paying my own bills for the past four years. I'm the mommy to an adorable puppy full of spunk. I'm responsible, reasonable and kind-hearted (not too brag, but I think I sincerely am). However, I still rely on my parents for a lot. I turn to them for approval when I absolutely should be able to instead be more self-accepting and independent. My reliance on them ends up causing me a lot of pain. My mom and I have a rocky relationship at times which has a trickle effect on everyone else in my life. I firmly believe that if I finally convinced her that I'm an adult and no longer in need of unrequested advice, approval or financial help I'd be in a much happier place in my life. So, here's to that! 
Ok, so now it's Dee's turn. Please visit her blog One Foot out of the Box for her answers. I'm sure they'll be posted shortly :). Thanks again for the awesome question Dee. And to all readers, please feel free to play along again next Friday.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Free for all Friday

Alright, it's the end of the week and Saturday is so close I can feel it in my bones. Which means, I'm feeling both charitable and creative. That's why, from here forth, I shall christen today, "Free for all Friday."

Here are the rules:

  1. You can each ask me one question. (Please leave your question in a comment below.)
  2.  I will pick the winner based on what I deem the best question asked. As a reward the chosen one will have their blog featured on this site all weekend. If you have a button please do share.
  3. However, the winner will also have to answer their question and link their entry back to mine on their blog as well. I mean really, if I didn't keep it even I could only imagine how wickedly clever you all might get haha ;). In any case, please be kind and keep your own response in mind.

Peace out lovelies! And remember, I've got stories!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Next Time, Just Go Back to Bed

When I woke up this morning I had an ominous feeling that something was wrong. Stupid girl. Instead of crawling right back into bed with the husband and begging off work with a "stomach bug" I told myself there were only two work days left and to shake it off. Stupid, stupid girl.

First, about five miles from work I realized that I was completely out of gas. I have like an obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to my gas tank nearing empty. I never let it get to E- ever. Call it a cautious habit from having lived alone in a different state from friends and family for a year.

Second, as I waited for a gas pump to open up I decided to step inside Turkey Hill and pick up a peanut butter and chocolate cappuccino. One step out of the car my left leg slid far behind me causing me to land hard on my knee. My instant reaction was to curse loudly, as is my response to all self-injuries. Apparently somebody had spilled their drink in the parking lot causing it to freeze into a nice size puddle of ice. I mean really, how dare they be so clumsy! Ok, I know, that could've been me on any other day.

Finally, as I was typing up a blogging comment I seriously tried to spell sophisticated "safisticated." It looked perfectly fine to me. The red squiggle line told me it was wrong but I couldn't get my mind wrapped around how to correct it. Ok, this may seem like no big deal to most, but to me this is huge. I'm an ENGLISH major for crying out loud! How will I ever teach the leaders of tomorrow if I can't get through an elementary school vocab word. Oh lord! Class starts up again in January. It will be my first time back in over three years. How will I ever cope?

Thirsty Thursday

We're not in college anymore, but can't we still have some fun?

Raise your glasses to this rum-spiked cider. It'll keep you warm inside. Warm outside. You won't be able to feel a thing. Well, you get the point...


  • 1 quart water
  • 3 orange spice tea bags
  • 1/2 cup light brown sugar
  • 2 cups apple cider
  • 1 1/2 cups light rum
  • 8 cinnamon sticks
  • 3 teaspoons butter


  1.   Boil water in large sauce pan. Remove from heat and toss in the orange spice tea bags. Cover and let steep 5 minutes. Remove tea bags and stir in sugar, apple cider, rum, and 2 of the cinnamon sticks. Heat just to steaming -- do not boil.
  2. Ladle hot cider into 6 mugs and drop 1/2 teaspoon butter into each. Garnish with a cinnamon "swizzle" stick. 
Recipe originally from 
Now tell me pretties, what drink helps keep you warm inside during these cold winter months? 

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Today's the Office Christmas Party

...thrilled to death it won't end with me looking like this guy. I have to say though, he's rocking that hat.

Stop by Java's site and hop onward towards more wordless Wednesday's. 

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Book Talk Tuesday

Book Talk Tuesday: The Hunger Games Trilogy

As I'm an avid reader, each Tuesday going forward I've decided to share a few of my most loved and most detested books with you guys. I invite you all to read them yourselves and be the judge. Let me know if you love them, hate them or think I'm off my rocker.

First up is "The Hunger Game Trilogy" consisting of "The Hunger Games," "Catching Fire," and "Mockingjay" written by Suzanne Collins. The trilogy falls into the genre of young adult science fiction adventure. Though, don't be fooled by the YA categorization, this book is a far leap from the books of my tween years. Filled with social satire involving our addiction to reality television, violence among children and a "lottery" system of pulling children from their homes and throwing them into the depths of any individuals picture of  hell which even Shirley Jackson could find appalling.

The main character Katniss lives in one of twelves districts that were once involved in a thirteen district uprising against "the Capitol," an elitist country where the rich go to flaunt themselves and remind the rest of the poorer districts what happens when you screw with leadership. Having blown district thirteen to smithereens and leaving the other twelves districts in poverty, the capital holds an annual "Hunger Games." Every boy and girl between the ages of 12 to 18 in the twelve poor districts must enter and then be randomly chosen in pairs to represent their district in a reality show themed fight to the death match much adored by those in the Capitol but mandatory nightmare viewing for those twelves nations whose children are dying before their eyes.

It's incredibly intense, I'm not going to lie. To be honest, when the husband first told me I should read it I turned him down flat on the basis of two things. 1)I don't read YA, I'm an adult and unless you're flashing Harry Potter before my eyes, I'm not interested. 2) Children forced to kill children? Are you kidding me?! What a sicko my husband was turning out to be.

Give it a chance though. Like reading true stories about the Holocaust or dark fictional novels like "The Road," at the heart of it, these books offer a lesson in humanity and the individual spirit's strength to survive. It's an incredible, awe-inspiring tale. One soon to be turned into a PG-13 rated movie by Lionsgate Entertainment. How they'll swing such a teen friendly rating without losing credibility to the book's fans, I have no idea. Though I'm dying to find out.

So what do you think folks, have I lost my bloody mind?

Monday, December 6, 2010

Getting My Milk Mustache On

I bought milk in a bag today. Do you know how incredibly excited I was to buy milk in a bag? This milk, produced and sold, at a local dairy has had so much hype surrounding it. All of the women at work talk about the dairy it comes from with reverence. They comment about how lucky we are to have it so close to us though it's a good 4 miles away from where we work and farther from where we live. And good Lord, don't even get me started on the ice cream. You see, I love ice cream. And I never adhere to seasonal standards. I'll drink cocoa in the summer and enjoy a frosty in the winter, thank you very much. So when they started to talk about the newly featured homemade pumpkin ice cream, I was sold.

So today I drove in the dark up a hillside road in search for what turned out to be little more than a roadside stand which sold milk, ice cream, juice, baked goods, candy and those small plastic containers of baking paraphernalia which in PA are synonyms with the Amish. This was not my first trip. Oh no, I had tried a week earlier to make the out-of-my-way trek only to be stopped by a police car blocking the road. Great. I was detoured into a big loop back where I came from only to quit and head home. This time though, I was victorious! I almost bought a pretty blue shirt advertising the dairy to celebrate my victory. First thing's first though, how does one drink milk out of a bag? Out of a pitcher of course ;).

Now excuse me while I go have a large drink of that white frothy liquid which is good for my bones and yours.

Tell me, what type of things do you buy locally? Because they're worth it of course.

Meet Me on Monday Blog Hop

Through Hilary from Feeling Beachie, I discovered a great Monday Meme called "Meet Me on Monday" created by Never Growing Old, a fellow Pennsylvania gal like me :). Feel free to check out Never Growing Old's blog and participate as well. Just be sure to link back to the originator so that we can all feel the post love.

1. What is your favorite type of cheese?
Portwine Cheese Spread- For this being my favorite type of cheese it is a very rare treat for me. I suppose that's why I find it so delicious when I do have it spread over crackers as a treat.

2. What size is your bed?
It's a cozy double bed. Long gone are our days of cramming into a college dorm supplied single. Now we're living the good life haha.

3. What is your most overused phrase?
Can you seriously believe that I use the word seriously all the time? Well, I do. It's horrible, I know. I'm such a stereotype of my generation right now.

4. Green or purple grapes?
Green all the way. Enough said.

5. Shower, morning or night?
For the past five years I've been going with night showers because I like cram as much sleep into my mornings as is absolutely possible. It's not even that I'd mind the shower part, as I can be fast if need be, but my hair takes FOREVER to dry. However, when school starts and I'm not getting home until 10pm I just may need to suck it up and wake up. We'll see...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Gifts that Give Hope

A few weekend ago the husband and I ventured out to attend an alternative gift fair. Basically what it was is a gymnasium filled with tables hosted by non-profit organizations, food and charities. Each table had some sort of display and/or literature which gave a description of what their mission was, how they were helping and why they did what they did. In addition to that they each had a cards up that said for a certain amount of money specified your money could be used to provide a certain service or product (i.e. mosquito nets). In most cases it was astonishing to see just how much could be done to help others for a small sum of money.

This was our first alternative gift fair and I have to say at first I was overwhelmed. I wanted to help everyone. At every single table I approached a kind-hearted smiling face was eager to answer my questions and offer a little bit of information about their group. While I didn't feel that anybody "pushed" their needs upon me, it was intense all the same. The amount of need out there is incredible. Now of course I realized this before hand but seeing it displayed so readily in one place really drove home the sentiment.

When I expressed this to the husband he put it quite simply, "you can't give your time and money to everyone so at least give to someone because at least you're giving at all." Good point, hubby, good point. So we made another round of the tables, taking in the aromas of the food made by resturaunts and organizations willing to give their profits to charities. We purchased an ornament from 10,000 villages a local fair trade shop and I ogled the vibrant bracelets made by struggling women in foreign villages. Again we took in exactly what was being offered by each group, asking our final questions before picking out where we could best place the money and time      that we had to offer.                                                                                                                Image Found Here

Before leaving we picked out our organization and the exact priced "gift" we wanted to give them and under who's name the donation would be made. We were then given an equal amount of cards with a brief description of what an alternative gift fair is and exactly what was donated and to who. Now this year, my two best friends, who are some of the most generous people I know will be presented with the knowledge that they are helping to stop sex-trafficking and giving aid to a struggling third-world community. I have a feeling that the warmth and comfort that this "paying it forward" movement gave to us will be passed on to them as well.

So please keep alternative gift giving in mind. If you're low on cash, looking to buy something with meaning and wishing that everyone was able to have a little something extra this year, it just may be the best option for you as it was for us.

For more information check out Gifts that Gift Hope.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Sweet, Sweet Savings

Okay, so I have to share this. Apparently through this fantastic Friends and Family discount if you buy on-line supposedly you also stand to save an additional 10% to 25% more. If you spend over $99 you get free shipping. Sweet!

New TV stand here I come...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Craigslist is To Die For

While living on my own in Maryland I became acquainted with a man who owned hipster apartment in Fellspoint. If you're not familiar with the area, which I was not, it is apparently the place to be if you're a young brilliant quarter-lifer whose hot stuff. Let's just say my job wasn't pulling in the type of cash to grace this trendy place with my presence on a daily basis.

Now, I knew this guy was making a good amount of dough. Our company paid well and he was treated like royalty by all the editors - enough said. So when he admitted that nearly ever piece of furniture and stylish decoration was bought off of Craigslist, I was shocked. Seriously, I thought, you bought someone else's trash? In my mind, Craigslist was a giant yard sale. Fine on a rainy day, but you were bound to regret that purchase when you realized a month later you too wanted to sell it. However, after noting how incredibly perfect every single mismatched item went together I knew he was onto something.

Yea, I know Craigslist isn't all fun and games, what with the Craigslist Killer and all that. But seriously people, follow the unspoken rules and you won't be in nearly as much of a risk of dying young:

  1. If it seems shady - it is. 
  2. Never meet at your own home, especially if you're home alone. 
  3. Preferrably, meet in a public place which you are familiar with. 
  4. I hate to sound sexist here, but send your husband, brother, boyfriend or father to do your bidding. Men don't get taken advantage of nearly as often as women. This may not be a written fact, but it is my whole-hearted opinion. 
  5. Only accept cash- trust me. 
 Now, I'm one of Craigslist's biggest fans. This month alone we bought a full-size portable dishwasher with counter top ($20), washer and dryer ($40), basket full of collectible glassware which I and the hubby are obsessed with ($10 and worth so much more) and are now in search of a new flat screen TV stand for our big Black Friday purchase.

So tell me lovelies, what is your favorite Craigslist purchase? Don't be afraid to brag.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Oh my God They're Back Again!

When I was in elementary school my first crush was on Danny from New Kids on the Block. In college I "met" Joey outside of his show "Wicked" in NY as he signed my playbill. Our hands touched for but a fleeting moment when I realized how terribly stupid I had been in my youth. (Danny?! Seriously, what was I thinking?). Now to give you a picture of just how obsessed I was with the group, I had the NKOTB sweatshirt, sleeping bag, sheets, towels, poster-sized puzzle, button to go on my jean jacket, doll and of course concert video tape. Apparently my mom seriously indulged me in this obsession. To her credit I can name very little of other possessions I had from this era short of my pillow-person, so, GO MOM.

Now in middle school NKOTB fell upon some hard times and pretty much disappeared. Never fear though, because as you all know, Backstreet Boys were starting to bloom. In 1996 they released their first CD and all of my friends fell in love. I saw them in concert - twice. (I also saw NSYNC but to me they will forever be known as the "fake BSBers").

Like the molding of two perfect lost loves, these formers flames have joined forces to present to America the NKOTB & BSB Tour! No sweeter words have ever been spoken. And you bet your ass that the audience following them at every show will not be the wee little squealing girls they were once used to, but instead quarter-lifers. They're back and so are we. Better than ever. And may I dare say, now legal.

For your viewing pleasure ladies and gents...

When it Rains...

Husband locked himself out the house today while taking the dog out to pee.

Good news: A kind man from the German Club helped him get back in.

Bad news: Apparently it is incredibly easy to break into my kitchen.

Best News: My husband stood outside in the rain for two hours before he used a phone nearby so that he could get me while I was on my lunch break. Sounds insane, I know, but I only hear "incredibly thoughtful."

Monday, November 29, 2010

I Need A Drink

To be honest, lately I've been wanting to get drunk. And not just the expected, have me a bottle of wine while watching bad television drunk. No, I mean sloppy, flirty, pour water down my throat before I fall asleep drunk. The thing is, that I don't know how to anymore.

It used to be that every Friday or Saturday (or both) my friends and I would gather around a poker game in a cramped dorm room each with a different bottle in hand. We'd then raid the hallway vending machines for juice bottles drinking maybe a little less than half the bottle and quickly filling the rest with whatever spirit of our choosing. Classy, I know.

This would lead to so much fun. We'd invent games, make friends, build igloos in the snow, you name it really. But now that I'm no longer in a college dorm and I have real responsibilities I just don't feel right about drinking myself silly. To be honest, I guess what's really missing is the friends. Everyone's so busy. They're doing homework, working, visiting with family. The husband and I are completely guilty of this as well. We're too busy to be reckless and silly drunk. To add insult to injury, I now get heartburn like no other anytime I even have a glass of Harbor Mist. Pathetic.

So what now? How do I fulfill my need to be that "fun" college girl my husband fell in love with, without losing my own personal integrity these days. How do I still do "stupid" things without feeling like an idiot? What's going to be my next bold move before I have children that make those moves for me?

Blah, I need a drink. I guess soda will have to do.

Friday, November 26, 2010

This Black Friday Belongs to Us

This was my second official Black Friday outing. Last year Mom and I left the house around 10pm and headed to first the outlets for some midnight shopping, then popped over to Sears as it opened and finally ended at Target. By the time we hit Target I was sleep-shopping. I swear to God I have very little recollection of that shopping trip. When all was said and done though there were people on my shopping list who had three gifts and others who had none. Definitely not a good idea to pick up whatever "looked good."

This year though, we had a plan. Weeks before the circulars came out in the paper we had our eyes on the 40" Westinghouse television at Target. I even called the store last Monday just to make sure of how many they had in stock and get a feel for when we should show up. It was like talking to the mafia. No, they could not tell me anything. Doors open at 4am. Fat lot of good that does me.

So at 9pm Mom headed out with two camping chairs, a sleeping bag, blanket and tons of clothing layers. Around 11:30pm I met her, having driven from my husband's family festivities to my hometown for some hours. I'm not sure what I expected, but a large group of twenties something mixed in with a Dad and daughter was not it. There we all were with our pavilions, ereaders and cell phones in hand swapping rumored stories about what was to happen when those doors finally opened like it was a tailgating party and we were looking to guess who would come out on top. Honestly, it was a pretty entertaining night. We shamefully all banned together as car after car drove by asking what time the store opened - 5AM SUCKERS!!! A loud cheer went up when the manager came out around 3am announcing there were 35 tv's available. We also got to know each other a little. I couldn't tell you the name of the girl who sat down next to me, but I could tell you all about why getting this christmas deal was so important to her, how her Christmas last year went and who she was buying the TV for. I could totally relate. With this economy, who couldn't?

So congrats quarter-lifers, this Black Friday belongs to us :). Enjoy those bargains then feel free to sleep the day away if your job allows it. But let's all remember to be especially nice to those men and women who helped us find our way through the crowded stores, rang up our merchandise and in several occassions broke up fight and protected us from being stampeded. They too deserve a break.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

What I'm Thankful For...

Sure there are some days when I'm in quarter-life crisis mode, but to be fair, I have a good deal of very good days as well. Mostly these days occur on Saturday and Sundays when it's just me, my husband and our adorable puppy. So let me begin today's post by apologizing for all of the griping I wrote to you last night. I'll do you one better, in the spirit of the holiday, here's a list (in no particular order) of the five things I have to be THANKFUL for...

  1. Family - My husband's family took me in right from the first time the begin when they started sensing our serious we were about each other. They have since made me feel like one of them, again and again and again. My family has always pushed me to get what I want out of life. They've turned me into the driven woman that I am today and for that I will always be thankful.
  2. Spirit- Our chihuahua mix puppy dog came into our lives when I was in a state of depression. It was suggested I go sit outside in the sun, write letters to the people who were upsetting me and come up with a chore list to help tackle our cluttered apartment. But really, what helped me the most, was coming home to another being. One who would smother me with kisses, force me out into the sun (rain and snow), and of course, give me a true sense of responsibility mixed with pleasure. What a good little girl she is.
  3. My Husband- Last month I walked down the aisle and into the arms of my favorite person in the world. We've been together five years. Within those five years he's given me the gift of love, forgiveness and even a backbone. Before I met my husband I was patient to a fault. I'd let people walk all over me if only to avoid conflict. I'm proud to say this is no longer my M.O. Best of all, he gets me. He didn't change me, I changed me. He just accepts me for who I am and supports my every dream 100%. I am one very lucky woman.
  4. Low Rent- When I originally planned on going back to school I did a lot of research. From everything I could read, research and observe it seemed very unlikely that I would be able to go back to school and maintain a full-time job. Luckily I have since learned that for at least a semester, this is going to be possible, however, I'm still glad we moved. We had a very big disappointment in our life when friends of ours who were converting their basement into an apartment suddenly alerted us at the last minute that this dream of ours was no longer going to be financially possible. We scrambled. Nobody would accept us with a dog- unless we wanted to go back to the nasty gross type of apartment from whence we originally came. Then we met Mar, our current landlord. She gave us a chance at a life with low rent but solid walls, new carpets and spotless surroundings. Thank you Jesus, we can afford this life!
  5. An Education - I have my Bachelor's Degree in English with a concentration in Professional Writing. I am now completely enrolled in a Certification Program which will allow me to teach Secondary English Education. From there I will have what I need to begin my Master's in Language and Literacy and obtain my ultimate goal of becoming a Reading Specialist. I didn't get here alone. My husband, my family, my past professors and mentors, my new college's financial aid department, all took a rather large part in getting me to this point. Now I just need to go forward and fulfill my end of the bargain. I'm ready for this.

Now I wonder dear readers, what is the one thing you are most thankful for this holiday season? Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

How Did I Get Here?

So, why this? Why now?

This isn't my first time around the blog block. I first truly committed myself to on-line writing the year I graduated college. My boss suggested I do it as a release from the tensions of our editorial job. She taught me how to keep my creativity without losing my job.  So for the longest year of my life I posted two to three times a week and became almost 24hrs aware of what others were posting and reaching out to my audience. All of this on top of a job that kept me behind a computer screen for at least 9 hours a day prequel-ed and sequel-ed by an hour and a half commute from my "nice" office to my "sketchy" first apartment.

Then he proposed...

Three hundred ninety-five days and one raise later, I quit. My boss, my mentor and my friend had to only express the fact that she felt I was settling for a small-town with husband baby-on-her-hip type of life for me to realize my ulcer-ridden stomach and I couldn't do this anymore. I was 22 and burnt out.

It's funny how we quarter-lifers can be each others biggest critics.But don't we do it again, and again? "She moved home." "He never went to college." "They accidentally got knocked up." Again, and again and again. Worst of all those is our own self-imposed critiques, "I fill in failure here."

In any case, I moved back to my home state and a true hell-hole of an apartment with my college sweetheart. Jobless and in crisis mode again I turned to a temp agency. Turns out I rocked as a temp, but I craved stability. It fell into my lap when the woman I was covering for had to give up her job due to a medical condition. Thus catapulting me into a stable secretarial income while benefiting from someone's medical misfortunes. But God did the fiance and I argue. What's worse is that I now had something to prove. Don't we all? I think that's almost a staple of the quarter-life crew. We feed off of proving ourselves to the outside world. We need to be able to take it all on.

Exactly one year later we moved again. This time it was into a very nice apartment, much closer to work and even better, they allowed pets. We got a puppy! It's incredible what a baby fox-like mix can do to liven up an other wise empty apartment. From 5pm to 10pm it was me and the pup. From 10am to 2pm it was my fiance and the pup. She did wonders for us both. But I started to get anxious. I was planning a wedding which, in that alone, I should have found satisfaction and every spare moment filled in with activity, but it wasn't enough. I have a college education, a degree! I'm doing a job that not only doesn't use it, but doesn't require it. Did I mention that I'm still paying half a thousand each month on this golden nugget of entitlement?  And that doesn't figure in my now husband's own debts as he also went to the same over-priced establishment that we both still adore. So I started an on-line business. One which would allow me to turn others literary dreams into fulfillment while offering them readers from around the world whilst also offering both the author and I a decent sum of satisfaction for our wallets. I thought it went brilliantly. My author did not. Let's just say that her dreams were rather grander in nature then was feasible in reality. The "failure" crushed me. I put away my fancy new company website and picked up a therapist to deal with this and oh Lord, so much more.

Once again, I'm back in crisis mode...

Now I'm in college- again. As of January I will be working and attending school full-time while I work on obtaining my teaching certification.My course load is almost as big as was required for my bachelor's degree. It doesn't stop there either. We moved again. How could we honestly afford something so nice and new while becoming a struggling student, wife, puppy and husband? It's nice though. It's warm and good God it's a means to and end.

So my dear readers, both young, old, quarter-life and otherwise, what is your current crisis? I can sense the stress from here.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I'm an ESFJ Type of Girl

I'm an ESFJ. For those not in the know, let's call this Generation Y's astrological sign. It's too vague for you to know if you should pick me up with, but specific enough to let you know what type of person I might be should you be familiar with the basics of the Myers-Briggs personality type test.

Let me break it down. According to the great psychiatrist Katharine Cook Briggs, and her daughter Isabel Brigs Myers, as originally developed by Carl Jung, every single personality in the world falls into at least one of 16 categories of personality. These sixteen personality types are all broken into four sections: Favorite World, Information, Decisions and Structure.

Through a series of questions that make you truly think yet encourage you to impulsively answer, you determine if you prefer to focus on the world outside of you or your inner world thus giving you the categorization of an extrovert or an introvert. When it comes to information, do you stick to the facts or look for meaning and add context? What it comes down to is are you sensing or intuitive? At times of that great decisions must be made do you turn to logic or to emotions and special circumstances? Are you a thinker or gut feeler? When it comes to handling the world do you prefer to get down to business or do you like to keep your options open? Depending on how you answer you'll either be judging or perceiving.

Thus I am an extroverted, sensing, feeling and judging personality type. I get my energy from the world around me. Like most women I search for the meaning behind ideas expressed to me instead of just taking them at face value. Though I'll contemplate the heck out of decisions at the end of the day I'd rather react on gut than just the facts. My most cursed personality aspect though is my ability to judge. This doesn't mean I'm crucial and close-minded when it comes to others view. (Though I'm sure I sometimes can be). No, this means that in combination with my "feeling" I'm an empathetic soul. I feel everything, but I still must put this behind me and get down to business or else I'd drive myself crazy.

Who are you?