Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Oh my God They're Back Again!

When I was in elementary school my first crush was on Danny from New Kids on the Block. In college I "met" Joey outside of his show "Wicked" in NY as he signed my playbill. Our hands touched for but a fleeting moment when I realized how terribly stupid I had been in my youth. (Danny?! Seriously, what was I thinking?). Now to give you a picture of just how obsessed I was with the group, I had the NKOTB sweatshirt, sleeping bag, sheets, towels, poster-sized puzzle, button to go on my jean jacket, doll and of course concert video tape. Apparently my mom seriously indulged me in this obsession. To her credit I can name very little of other possessions I had from this era short of my pillow-person, so, GO MOM.

Now in middle school NKOTB fell upon some hard times and pretty much disappeared. Never fear though, because as you all know, Backstreet Boys were starting to bloom. In 1996 they released their first CD and all of my friends fell in love. I saw them in concert - twice. (I also saw NSYNC but to me they will forever be known as the "fake BSBers").

Like the molding of two perfect lost loves, these formers flames have joined forces to present to America the NKOTB & BSB Tour! No sweeter words have ever been spoken. And you bet your ass that the audience following them at every show will not be the wee little squealing girls they were once used to, but instead quarter-lifers. They're back and so are we. Better than ever. And may I dare say, now legal.

For your viewing pleasure ladies and gents...

When it Rains...

Husband locked himself out the house today while taking the dog out to pee.

Good news: A kind man from the German Club helped him get back in.

Bad news: Apparently it is incredibly easy to break into my kitchen.

Best News: My husband stood outside in the rain for two hours before he used a phone nearby so that he could get me while I was on my lunch break. Sounds insane, I know, but I only hear "incredibly thoughtful."

Monday, November 29, 2010

I Need A Drink

To be honest, lately I've been wanting to get drunk. And not just the expected, have me a bottle of wine while watching bad television drunk. No, I mean sloppy, flirty, pour water down my throat before I fall asleep drunk. The thing is, that I don't know how to anymore.

It used to be that every Friday or Saturday (or both) my friends and I would gather around a poker game in a cramped dorm room each with a different bottle in hand. We'd then raid the hallway vending machines for juice bottles drinking maybe a little less than half the bottle and quickly filling the rest with whatever spirit of our choosing. Classy, I know.

This would lead to so much fun. We'd invent games, make friends, build igloos in the snow, you name it really. But now that I'm no longer in a college dorm and I have real responsibilities I just don't feel right about drinking myself silly. To be honest, I guess what's really missing is the friends. Everyone's so busy. They're doing homework, working, visiting with family. The husband and I are completely guilty of this as well. We're too busy to be reckless and silly drunk. To add insult to injury, I now get heartburn like no other anytime I even have a glass of Harbor Mist. Pathetic.

So what now? How do I fulfill my need to be that "fun" college girl my husband fell in love with, without losing my own personal integrity these days. How do I still do "stupid" things without feeling like an idiot? What's going to be my next bold move before I have children that make those moves for me?

Blah, I need a drink. I guess soda will have to do.

Friday, November 26, 2010

This Black Friday Belongs to Us

This was my second official Black Friday outing. Last year Mom and I left the house around 10pm and headed to first the outlets for some midnight shopping, then popped over to Sears as it opened and finally ended at Target. By the time we hit Target I was sleep-shopping. I swear to God I have very little recollection of that shopping trip. When all was said and done though there were people on my shopping list who had three gifts and others who had none. Definitely not a good idea to pick up whatever "looked good."

This year though, we had a plan. Weeks before the circulars came out in the paper we had our eyes on the 40" Westinghouse television at Target. I even called the store last Monday just to make sure of how many they had in stock and get a feel for when we should show up. It was like talking to the mafia. No, they could not tell me anything. Doors open at 4am. Fat lot of good that does me.

So at 9pm Mom headed out with two camping chairs, a sleeping bag, blanket and tons of clothing layers. Around 11:30pm I met her, having driven from my husband's family festivities to my hometown for some hours. I'm not sure what I expected, but a large group of twenties something mixed in with a Dad and daughter was not it. There we all were with our pavilions, ereaders and cell phones in hand swapping rumored stories about what was to happen when those doors finally opened like it was a tailgating party and we were looking to guess who would come out on top. Honestly, it was a pretty entertaining night. We shamefully all banned together as car after car drove by asking what time the store opened - 5AM SUCKERS!!! A loud cheer went up when the manager came out around 3am announcing there were 35 tv's available. We also got to know each other a little. I couldn't tell you the name of the girl who sat down next to me, but I could tell you all about why getting this christmas deal was so important to her, how her Christmas last year went and who she was buying the TV for. I could totally relate. With this economy, who couldn't?

So congrats quarter-lifers, this Black Friday belongs to us :). Enjoy those bargains then feel free to sleep the day away if your job allows it. But let's all remember to be especially nice to those men and women who helped us find our way through the crowded stores, rang up our merchandise and in several occassions broke up fight and protected us from being stampeded. They too deserve a break.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

What I'm Thankful For...

Sure there are some days when I'm in quarter-life crisis mode, but to be fair, I have a good deal of very good days as well. Mostly these days occur on Saturday and Sundays when it's just me, my husband and our adorable puppy. So let me begin today's post by apologizing for all of the griping I wrote to you last night. I'll do you one better, in the spirit of the holiday, here's a list (in no particular order) of the five things I have to be THANKFUL for...

  1. Family - My husband's family took me in right from the first time the begin when they started sensing our serious we were about each other. They have since made me feel like one of them, again and again and again. My family has always pushed me to get what I want out of life. They've turned me into the driven woman that I am today and for that I will always be thankful.
  2. Spirit- Our chihuahua mix puppy dog came into our lives when I was in a state of depression. It was suggested I go sit outside in the sun, write letters to the people who were upsetting me and come up with a chore list to help tackle our cluttered apartment. But really, what helped me the most, was coming home to another being. One who would smother me with kisses, force me out into the sun (rain and snow), and of course, give me a true sense of responsibility mixed with pleasure. What a good little girl she is.
  3. My Husband- Last month I walked down the aisle and into the arms of my favorite person in the world. We've been together five years. Within those five years he's given me the gift of love, forgiveness and even a backbone. Before I met my husband I was patient to a fault. I'd let people walk all over me if only to avoid conflict. I'm proud to say this is no longer my M.O. Best of all, he gets me. He didn't change me, I changed me. He just accepts me for who I am and supports my every dream 100%. I am one very lucky woman.
  4. Low Rent- When I originally planned on going back to school I did a lot of research. From everything I could read, research and observe it seemed very unlikely that I would be able to go back to school and maintain a full-time job. Luckily I have since learned that for at least a semester, this is going to be possible, however, I'm still glad we moved. We had a very big disappointment in our life when friends of ours who were converting their basement into an apartment suddenly alerted us at the last minute that this dream of ours was no longer going to be financially possible. We scrambled. Nobody would accept us with a dog- unless we wanted to go back to the nasty gross type of apartment from whence we originally came. Then we met Mar, our current landlord. She gave us a chance at a life with low rent but solid walls, new carpets and spotless surroundings. Thank you Jesus, we can afford this life!
  5. An Education - I have my Bachelor's Degree in English with a concentration in Professional Writing. I am now completely enrolled in a Certification Program which will allow me to teach Secondary English Education. From there I will have what I need to begin my Master's in Language and Literacy and obtain my ultimate goal of becoming a Reading Specialist. I didn't get here alone. My husband, my family, my past professors and mentors, my new college's financial aid department, all took a rather large part in getting me to this point. Now I just need to go forward and fulfill my end of the bargain. I'm ready for this.

Now I wonder dear readers, what is the one thing you are most thankful for this holiday season? Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

How Did I Get Here?

So, why this? Why now?

This isn't my first time around the blog block. I first truly committed myself to on-line writing the year I graduated college. My boss suggested I do it as a release from the tensions of our editorial job. She taught me how to keep my creativity without losing my job.  So for the longest year of my life I posted two to three times a week and became almost 24hrs aware of what others were posting and reaching out to my audience. All of this on top of a job that kept me behind a computer screen for at least 9 hours a day prequel-ed and sequel-ed by an hour and a half commute from my "nice" office to my "sketchy" first apartment.

Then he proposed...

Three hundred ninety-five days and one raise later, I quit. My boss, my mentor and my friend had to only express the fact that she felt I was settling for a small-town with husband baby-on-her-hip type of life for me to realize my ulcer-ridden stomach and I couldn't do this anymore. I was 22 and burnt out.

It's funny how we quarter-lifers can be each others biggest critics.But don't we do it again, and again? "She moved home." "He never went to college." "They accidentally got knocked up." Again, and again and again. Worst of all those is our own self-imposed critiques, "I fill in failure here."

In any case, I moved back to my home state and a true hell-hole of an apartment with my college sweetheart. Jobless and in crisis mode again I turned to a temp agency. Turns out I rocked as a temp, but I craved stability. It fell into my lap when the woman I was covering for had to give up her job due to a medical condition. Thus catapulting me into a stable secretarial income while benefiting from someone's medical misfortunes. But God did the fiance and I argue. What's worse is that I now had something to prove. Don't we all? I think that's almost a staple of the quarter-life crew. We feed off of proving ourselves to the outside world. We need to be able to take it all on.

Exactly one year later we moved again. This time it was into a very nice apartment, much closer to work and even better, they allowed pets. We got a puppy! It's incredible what a baby fox-like mix can do to liven up an other wise empty apartment. From 5pm to 10pm it was me and the pup. From 10am to 2pm it was my fiance and the pup. She did wonders for us both. But I started to get anxious. I was planning a wedding which, in that alone, I should have found satisfaction and every spare moment filled in with activity, but it wasn't enough. I have a college education, a degree! I'm doing a job that not only doesn't use it, but doesn't require it. Did I mention that I'm still paying half a thousand each month on this golden nugget of entitlement?  And that doesn't figure in my now husband's own debts as he also went to the same over-priced establishment that we both still adore. So I started an on-line business. One which would allow me to turn others literary dreams into fulfillment while offering them readers from around the world whilst also offering both the author and I a decent sum of satisfaction for our wallets. I thought it went brilliantly. My author did not. Let's just say that her dreams were rather grander in nature then was feasible in reality. The "failure" crushed me. I put away my fancy new company website and picked up a therapist to deal with this and oh Lord, so much more.

Once again, I'm back in crisis mode...

Now I'm in college- again. As of January I will be working and attending school full-time while I work on obtaining my teaching certification.My course load is almost as big as was required for my bachelor's degree. It doesn't stop there either. We moved again. How could we honestly afford something so nice and new while becoming a struggling student, wife, puppy and husband? It's nice though. It's warm and good God it's a means to and end.

So my dear readers, both young, old, quarter-life and otherwise, what is your current crisis? I can sense the stress from here.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I'm an ESFJ Type of Girl

I'm an ESFJ. For those not in the know, let's call this Generation Y's astrological sign. It's too vague for you to know if you should pick me up with, but specific enough to let you know what type of person I might be should you be familiar with the basics of the Myers-Briggs personality type test.

Let me break it down. According to the great psychiatrist Katharine Cook Briggs, and her daughter Isabel Brigs Myers, as originally developed by Carl Jung, every single personality in the world falls into at least one of 16 categories of personality. These sixteen personality types are all broken into four sections: Favorite World, Information, Decisions and Structure.

Through a series of questions that make you truly think yet encourage you to impulsively answer, you determine if you prefer to focus on the world outside of you or your inner world thus giving you the categorization of an extrovert or an introvert. When it comes to information, do you stick to the facts or look for meaning and add context? What it comes down to is are you sensing or intuitive? At times of that great decisions must be made do you turn to logic or to emotions and special circumstances? Are you a thinker or gut feeler? When it comes to handling the world do you prefer to get down to business or do you like to keep your options open? Depending on how you answer you'll either be judging or perceiving.

Thus I am an extroverted, sensing, feeling and judging personality type. I get my energy from the world around me. Like most women I search for the meaning behind ideas expressed to me instead of just taking them at face value. Though I'll contemplate the heck out of decisions at the end of the day I'd rather react on gut than just the facts. My most cursed personality aspect though is my ability to judge. This doesn't mean I'm crucial and close-minded when it comes to others view. (Though I'm sure I sometimes can be). No, this means that in combination with my "feeling" I'm an empathetic soul. I feel everything, but I still must put this behind me and get down to business or else I'd drive myself crazy.

Who are you?