I don't know whether it's this cold weather, depression or hell, I've even considered mono, that's making me feel this way. Regardless of the reason I am so tired and despondent these days. I think people have started noticing that I'm "off" at work. I've tried to play it off as due to the stomach bug from earlier this week, or just allergies getting me down. The truth is, I'm highly sensitive, easily emotional and exhausted all of the time.
I've been going to bed two hours earlier than normal and still I wake up feeling barely rested. I have an internal struggle to get out of bed and go to work. Once there I feel mostly good but if something goes wrong, as it usually does, it bugs me even more than normal. I'm a secretary so I put up with a lot of crap during the day, however, for some reason I'm so much more an easy target lately. It's pathetic.
The thing is, how do I fix it if I don't know what's causing it? I've considered seeing my therapist. I haven't seen him in over 3 months, at least. Even then I saw him maybe once a month or so for a very small amount of time. And it's not that I don't want to see him again, he's a great guy, I just don't think that my exhaustion warrants a visit. Taking a day of work to see a doctor because you're tired seems pathetic too. Especially if this is just caused by "winter blues." So I'm going to hold off for a little bit again. I figure if Christmas, my favorite holiday ever, can't cheer me up then we have a problem. However, a little cider and mistletoe may be just the trick.
My only worry is that what if it isn't? I begin school in less than a month. Full time school and full time work. I will have no space for extra exhaustion and sadness. Best I can do is just force myself out of bed every day and cheer the heck up.
Is anybody else feeling this way lately? Please tell me it's only the weather...